BEST MOVIE THEATER

Muvico Paradise
15601 Sheridan St.
Davie
954/680-0171

Is it a mirage? No, rising out of the flat suburban blandness west of Interstate 75 is a huge pyramid structure that houses 24 screens of movie heaven and a virtual popcorn factory. This locally owned chain is going for the ultimate in extras and comfort. So, you didn’t have time for dinner and a hot dog just isn’t going to do it? Well, there are Buffalo chicken strips and wings, fries, pizza and, yes, even popcorn shrimp. For the kids, there’s an arcade and even a separate playroom. While the huge parking lot often gets crowded on weekends, you never have difficulty finding a space, even if it means a little hike. Not up for the walk? Try valet parking. Don’t want to wait in lines? Use the credit card ticket machines. Your choice of movie is sold out? Don’t fret, there are 23 other screens. The auditoriums have comfy, lush chairs and the projection and sound are, of course, state of the art. One small complaint: In a building this large, couldn’t someone have found room for bigger bathrooms? Oh, well, maybe in the next pyramid. And don’t forget, west Broward is breeding territory — weekend afternoons you’ll see enough children to convince you that the Earth will collapse soon from overpopulation. Too bad they don’t make biblical epics anymore, because this would be the perfect movie palace to watch Charlton Heston’s exciting chariot race in Ben-Hur or better yet the overindulgence of Cleopatra. But, hey, Gladiator is opening May 5.

BEST INDEPENDENT MOVIE THEATER

Gateway Cinema
1820 E. Sunrise Blvd.
Fort Lauderdale
954/763-7994

It’s a small theater that has kept up with the times and offers a true alternative to the monolithic chains. So what if it doesn’t have stadium seating? You’ll survive because it has a good selection of movies from the best in foreign films and American art-house fare to that select mainstream release. And it’s often the only location on the east side of town to see these foreign films. The theater also has astutely appealed to a gay audience by programming a gay-oriented film whenever it’s available and even stocking its lobby with all the local gay and alternative publications. The lobby is cheerful, and for the avid moviegoer it can feel like home — your own semi-private screening room with freshly popped popcorn. There’s even a bulletin board so you can vent your feelings immediately after seeing a movie. As for the movie experience itself, no, you won’t feel as if you’re in a barnlike stadium. It’s much more intimate than that. The projection is great and the large screens envelop the perfect-sized, manageable auditoriums. It’s movie viewing as a mogul would like it.

COMEDY CLUB

Uncle Funny’s
9160 State Road 84
Davie
954/474-5653

The Uncle has been providing the funny for more than five years, turning Davie into Broward’s comedy mecca for all the right reasons. The registry of A-listers who have played at the West Broward club includes the sacred (Rabbi Bob Alper) and the profane (Damon Wayans, Robert Schimmel and Bobby Slayton). There was the understated (Wendy Liebman) and the demented (The Amazing Johnathan). In fact, pretty much anyone with a microphone and an inability to keep a real job has worked the 300-seat room. There have been ventriloquists (Jeff Dunham), song parodists (Dr. Dirty) and even several hypnotists — comedians who try to put their audience to sleep. You want funny. Go to Uncle.

BEST PLACE FOR LITERARY READINGS

Warehaus 57
1904-B Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood
954/926-6633

The place best-known for the storefront stage used by local musical performers has now built a reputation as a regular site for literary readings. Published poets and novelists read regularly at this oblong slice of bohemia, which owner Lauren Tellman has metamorphosed into a café/used book store/leather clothing outlet. John Dufresne, Vickie Hendricks and Les Standiford are among the nationally recognized novelists to read their works from the back of the room, near Tellman’s provocative leather gowns and skirts. Hannah Khan Poetry Foundation impresarios Lenny Dellarocca and Richard Ryal stage their events here throughout the year, as does the creative writing department at FIU. Tellman provides added sustenance for the literary class by catering postreading buffets that are nearly as nourishing as her guest writers.

BEST THEATER

Caldwell Theatre Company
7873 N. Federal Highway
Boca Raton
561/241-7432

Selecting the best theater isn’t as easy as it sounds. If you’re looking strictly at production values, there are at least a half dozen best theaters throughout Broward and Palm Beach counties. But if you factor in the choice of material, the Caldwell wins hands down. Its 25th season was an unparalleled triumph without a single bad production. Drawing from seldom-performed gems like Edward Albee’s A Delicate Balance and Peter Schaffer’s Black Comedy to classics like Enid Bagnold’s The Chalk Garden on through its current must-see tour de force, Over the River and Through the Woods, the Caldwell is a treasure. It allows its audience to think as well as be entertained, and is a welcome break from the same tired, repetitive warhorse theater to which local audiences have had to grow accustomed. No one ever said all theater had to be innovative and artistic, but the Caldwell proves it can be done without turning the stage into a lecture hall.

BEST CLUB TO OPEN IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS

Alligator Alley
2079 N. University Drive
Sunrise
954/742-6874

In the midst of anonymous suburban sprawl, Alligator Alley has been presenting some of the finest roots music to be found in South Florida. With Seminole Chief James Billie’s backing, and Carl "Kilmo" Pacillo and Shack Daddy bandmate "Bonefish Johnny" Stacy doing the booking, the Alley has hosted a smorgasbord of blues, rock, reggae, jazz, funk and folk musicians. Outstanding shows from New Orleans funk-bluesman Mem Shannon, acoustic folk-blues icons Spider John Koerner and Dave "Snaker" Ray, bayou-born guitarslinger Lonnie Brooks, Austin harmonica king Gary Primich and outrageous R&B vet Bobby Rush have made the Alley popular with the blues crowd, while reggae greats such as The Wailers and The Itals have brought out the dreadlock congress. The Groove Thangs, one of South Florida’s funnest and funkiest bands, reunited here, and former Miami band NRBQ were hilariously raucous (see Best Club Show, Broward). Popular jazz artists such as Maynard Ferguson and Gato Barbieri have graced the big stage, while area jazz artists such as Nicole Yarling, Ben Champion and Randy Bernsen have held court on the smaller, second stage. Acoustic SoFla artists Magda Hiller and Diane Ward have played the Alley, as has former SoFla songstress Marianne Flemming. Add to all of this the Shack Daddys, the de facto houseband, and all of its satellites, e.g., Kilmo and the Killers, Raiford Starke, and the great group of talent they pull into their orbit, and there’s no question that something special’s brewing out in the ’burbs.

BEST ALTERNATIVE CLUB

Respectable Street
518 Clematis St.
West Palm Beach
561/832-9999

Having recently celebrated its 12th anniversary, South Florida’s oldest alternative music venue shows no signs of abating its dedication to presenting creative music, new and old. From hosting locals like The Ex-Cretins, Whirlaway and Doorway 27 to icons such as Jonathan Richman and Dick Dale, Respectable Street is the antithesis of all the stereotypical "put-a-dollar-in-the-tip-jar-and-we’ll-play-all-the-Badfinger-you-can-handle" venues that continue to plague our area. That the club has survived this long is both a puzzle and a promise. In a more perfect world (or city for that matter), Respectable Street would be the norm and not the exception. The club is open from 9 p.m. to 3 a.m. (4 on weekends) Wednesdays through Saturdays.

BEST BLUES CLUB

Bamboo Room
25 S. J St.
Lake Worth
561/585-2583

Not only has the Bamboo Room consistently booked some of the best blues artists on the touring circuit since they opened a year ago, but the place is so comfortable, so intimate, so stylish yet unpretentious that it makes concertgoing an absolute pleasure. Get there early enough (shows start at 9 and 11 p.m.) and you can stretch out on a couch or armchair just a few feet from the stage, which is truly special during the acoustic blues acts the Bamboo has made their trademark. Older performers such as Arkansan guitarist-harmonica man John Weston; Kansas City harp great Little Hatch; minister of electric mayhem T-Model Ford; and Chicago blues sax king Eddie Shaw and his Wolf Gang have been particularly satisfying, in that there aren’t many other venues down here to see them. Ditto remarkable acoustic acts such as John Hammond, Paul Geremia, Dave Van Ronk, Roy Book Binder, Cephas and Wiggins and the extraordinary Kelly Joe Phelps. Artist in residence Keith Brown, a powerful performer on voice and guitar, was enticed from his native Memphis by Bamboo owners Russell Hibbard and Karen McKinley and now holds down a solo night and a trio night and performs prior to the national acts on weekends. A friendly, efficient staff, intriguing décor, classic cocktails and a killer jukebox (see Best Jukebox) enhance the musical experience, which is like having great sex with someone whose dad just happens to be incredibly wealthy.

BEST ROCK CLUB

The Culture Room
3045 N. Federal Highway
Fort Lauderdale
954/564-1074

Local bands looking to get their first gig (and local music fans strong-willed enough to listen to them) need look no further than The Culture Room. The club books upwards of six rock and metal bands an evening, some you’ll never hear from again, some you’ll wish you’d never hear from again and others of which you’ll never get enough. The venue still adheres to the archaic scheme of requiring bands to hawk their own tickets in order to get paid (hey, if it worked for Rosebud’s ... ), which explains the lack of veteran South Florida acts on the club’s calendar. Even so, when your still-living-at-home uncle’s death-metal cover band finally gets the nerve to perform on-stage, chances are it’ll be here.

BEST JAZZ CLUB

Ellington’s Restaurant and Cabaret
2009 Harrison St.
Hollywood
954/920-9322

Like it or not, the definition of the word jazz, at least here in South Florida, is being rewritten. Where it used to mean Bird, Diz and Miles, now the smooth jazz desecrators and R&B overemoters have reduced the medium to just so much pabulum for stressed-out Zinfandel-sipping yuppies. The latest venue to give it a throw, Ellington’s, looks like it just might buck the smooth jazz-R&B trend that has been embraced with both arms by nearby competitor O’Hara’s. In fact, the room is run by former O’Hara’s manager Don Leek, and was opened by owner Peter Loblack specifically to host straight-ahead jazz. Veteran jazz vocalist Joan Cartwright and a superb quartet hold down Friday and Saturday nights till 3 a.m. The eclectic Three Bop Trio played a few dates here and Shadow Bop, a group composed of teenage virtuosos, performed regular Sundays this past month. Also booked are area R&B stalwarts Gary King and Ruby Baker, although Loblack promises they play real jazz at his club. Other good signs are the booking of pianist Richard Shann and his quartet, who start this week, and jazz vocalist Dana Paul and his quartet, who begin in May. The place itself sports a handsome, subdued wood interior and tall doors that open out onto the sidewalk so you can converse or people-watch and still listen to the music. Ellington’s is also one of the few places we know of in downtown Hollywood that attracts as many if not more black patrons as white, a welcome change of pace. Will Ellington’s continue to attract crowds with straight-ahead jazz? Only time will tell. But we’re rooting for them.

BEST DANCE CLUB

Monkeyclub
219 Clematis St.
West Palm Beach
561/833-6500

You’ll be swinging from the vines by the end of the night at this incredibly popular club. Open just two and a half years, Monkeyclub is the place to see and be seen in West Palm. The clientele is "very Palm Beach," according to general manager "Buddah." Rub his tummy and maybe he’ll buy you a drink at one of the club’s four bars, which serves specialty drinks like the "Dirty Banana" and "Monkey Juice." Have one of those babies and you’ll dance your ass off faster than you can say Christina Aguliera. The club’s 20,000-watt music system plays Top 40 dance and lets patrons enjoy "a total light-sound experience," Buddah says. An added attraction is "Big Man" Clarence Clemons, who calls this place home one night a week when he’s not on tour with Bruce Springsteen. On those nights, the club takes on a "loungelike" atmosphere and packs ’em in but still leaves room to dance.

BEST R&B CLUB

O’Hara’s
1905 Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood
954/929-5990

When Kitty Ryan decided to open a branch of her successful Las Olas nightlife staple in Hollywood a few years back, there was much excitement, both from the city, which hoped a flood of investors would follow suit, and from jazz fans. Both would be disappointed. Hollywood is a jazz town; it’s hosted a premier jazz fest in Young Circle for years, has been home to various jazz clubs over the years and was even the proposed site for a big band museum. However, the formula for O’Hara’s musical bookings, despite the presence of longtime area pianist Billy Marcus as musical director, soon became alarmingly evident. Except for Sunday nights, which this past month featured bluesy vocalist Juanita Dixon backed by area jazz greats Brian Murphy on piano, Jesse Jones Jr. on sax and flute and Danny Burger on drums, and the occasional big band on a Sunday afternoon, for the most part O’Hara’s has given over its stage to bands that play R&B, pop and funk. Oh, it’s all top-notch, with acts like Valerie Tyson, Bobby Pruitt and High Voltage, Caesar’s Jade, Gary King and the Dream, Hot Brass Monkey (all Tropics Entertainment acts, we might add), Blue Fire featuring Randi the Fiddler and Jump N’ Jive, but jazz? No. They don’t even play it on the sound system when the bands take a break. This doesn’t fool real jazz fans, but it sure fools many folks who think what they’re listening to is jazz. George Orwell was right.

BEST ACOUSTIC CLUB

Warehaus 57
1904-B Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood
954/926-6633

Lauren Tellman relates a story of how a recent vendor tried to interest her in having her funky, eclectic café-bookstore-clothing store hooked up with computers so her patrons could surf the Net. He didn’t get much further than the guy who wanted her to install video games (too violent, Tellman protests). No, Warehaus 57, has always been about getting away from the electronic distractions of daily life, whether customers are bending an elbow and conversing over one of Tellman’s coffee creations, beer or wine; browsing the used books that line her shelves; thumbing any of the odd and obscure magazines she keeps on hand; and, of course, listening to the various acoustic acts who play in the storefront window facing Hollywood Boulevard. Regular performers include jazzy pop pianist Kelley Dolan, the world-jazz-pop duo Amereida, acoustic duo Big Blue Sky, acoustic singer-songwriter Richard Shepard, the duo Providence, mood-rockers A Kite Is a Victim, world-groovester Zac and even former South Floridian Kathy Fleischmann, who plays here when she visits from New York. Thursday nights are reserved for an open-mike, dubbed Haus a-go-go, hosted by John Landers and Debbie Clark. And when music isn’t happening, literary events often are.

BEST COUNTRY & WESTERN CLUB

Davie Junction
6311 S.W. 45th St.
Davie
954/581-1132

It’s in Davie. Need we say more?

BEST BAR TO TAKE OUT-OF-TOWN GUESTS

The Parrot
911 Sunrise Lane
Fort Lauderdale
954/563-1493

The World Famous Parrot, as it’s also known, is that rare bar that appeals to both tourists and locals, which explains how it’s stayed in business for 30 years. A Margaritaville bar before Jimmy Buffett coined the term, the densely decorated Parrot is energized by out-of-towners thrilled to be drinking one block from the ocean, yet it’s familiar enough for the cast of regulars that have been coming here for years. Incoming drinkers can get their picture taken on a digital camera, then have it posted on the wall and the tavern’s Web site (www.parrotlounge.com). The party favors include 16 kinds of draft beer, 22 televisions and a jukebox that plays music that predates the bar’s opening in 1970.

BEST IRISH PUB

Maguire’s Hill 16
535 N. Andrews Ave.
Fort Lauderdale
954/764-4453

There was a time when Maguire’s packed the crowds in so tight that it was difficult on weekend nights to find a place to sit. But that’s back when Maguire’s was the only Irish pub. Now that so many others have opened (some by the people who owned or once worked at Maguire’s), you can actually find an empty stool here or even a booth. Though the house band’s lineup has changed a bit, including a new name, Celt, you’ll still see some of the same faces as before, both behind the bar and on-stage, and hear some of the same music. The one thing that sets Maguire’s apart from many other Irish pubs that offer live music is that you can usually find a place quiet enough to chat with a friend. And if you’re feeling too energetic to confine yourself to a stool, you can play darts in a little room between the front and back rooms, or head out back and shoot pool, while listening to non-Irish music.

BEST IRISH PUB ON THE BEACH

Sally O’Brien’s
17 S. A1A
Fort Lauderdale
954/522-4641

Sally O’Brien’s, named for a postmistress, is the only Irish pub on a Broward beach. Owned by the former owners of Maguire’s, the pub is home to Fire in the Kitchen, featuring the extremely talented vocalist Addie O’Connor, or as some call her, "the artist formerly known as Peggy." Several years ago, Addie began working as a hostess at Maguire’s, but once they discovered her other talents, the band would get her on-stage a few times each night to sing a song or two. Soon, people were bringing their friends around just to hear her. Now, she and a band of other talented musicians take the stage nearly every night at Sally’s to perform music ranging from 16th-century O’Carolan tunes to The Coors and original material. On a weekend night, you can also expect to see the amazing footwork of Irish dancer Niamh Devilly, Karl Drake or a number of others, or hear Scottish bagpipers as they make their way around the bar.

BEST GAY BAR, MALE

Georgie’s Alibi
2266 Wilton Drive
Wilton Manors
954/565-2526

When the call for sponsorship of charity fundraisers goes out in the gay community, particularly for sports events, few respond as readily as Georgie’s. Whether it’s a softball tournament, a golf classic or a recent sports festival, Georgie’s steps up to the plate with a friendly, capable staff that has helped make this bar so successful. That spirit of giving was just as strong last New Year’s Eve. While most everyone else in town was gouging millennial partiers with outrageous cover charges, Georgie’s eschewed the tariff altogether, letting its customers ring in the new year without going broke. A recently expanded outdoor patio and improved access to parking have made this already popular hangout even more happening in recent months.

BEST GAY BAR, FEMALE

J’s Bar
2780 Davie Blvd.
Fort Lauderdale
954/581-8400

Yes, it’s kind of a dive, a little funky and frayed at the edges, but these ladies sometimes like that down-home feel where they can relax without a bunch of pretensions. More importantly, it brings back fond memories of the former hot spot for lesbians, Wilton Manors’ The Other Side. There’s the wild and wonderful Beverly behind the bar, and DJ Big Daddy, who looks exactly like he sounds. And he sounds good on Friday nights, the best night at the club, when he’s spinning a combination of hip-hop, R&B, classic disco and even a little salsa for the Miami girls. He even knows how to get the divas out on the decent-sized dance floor to vamp to Cheryl Lynn’s "Got to Be Real," or the "Electric Boogie" crowd sliding in perfect unison. There are two bars, two pool tables and, ridiculously, only two bathroom stalls, another reminder of The Other Side. The Ping-Pong table in the back might even remind you of those fun days in the family rumpus room with your girlfriends. Saturday nights you’ll hear more electronica. The club attracts a young crowd, heavy on the baby brigade in baggy jeans and tank tops. But purists beware: There are men here and there, and they aren’t all our gay brothers. The straight men brought in by lesbians are often cool; the ones who wander in on their own for crude kicks are very uncool. How can you spot the uncool ones? They’re leering, pointing (how rude!), saying "look at that one" and generally bouncing out of beat to the rhythm. These beautiful young women who have the courage to be themselves deserve the right to enjoy one another’s company in peace without being gawked at by creeps. Guys, go to your own clubs where you can be ignored by your own kind. Or if you choose to stay, remember The Crying Game. Yes, it could happen to you.

BEST TEA ROOM

The Little Tea House
3627 1/2 S. Dixie Highway
West Palm Beach
561/832-5683

Walk up a tiny path into the heart of antique row and you’ll experience the charm and hospitality one gets when visiting a favorite aunt. Owner Renee Maschinot’s venue immediately engulfs you in its delicate sophistication, with three serving rooms and a gift shop. You anticipate that first sip of tea, whether you choose black, herbal, fruit or oolong, served in fine china, purposely mismatched. Order a pot of cream tea, which is served with your choice of scones (we recommend the maple-pecan) along with Devonshire cream and fruit preserves. If you’re hungry, enjoy a salad, quiche or a light sandwich, or call ahead for reservations and enjoy high tea with a few friends and relish this hidden treasure.

BEST SPORTS BAR, BROWARD

Playoffs
3001 E. Commercial Blvd.
Fort Lauderdale
954/772-7890

There are bars that show sports and there are sports bars. Playoffs is definitely the latter. Nobody goes to this 43-screen tavern to watch anything but sports because that’s all it shows. The pitching, hitting, catching, kicking and tossing of balls with the sole intent of pitching, hitting, catching, kicking and tossing a ball better than an opponent is the only selection on the viewers’ choice menu. But it’s not only about watching balls fly, roll and bounce on big-screen television. Playoffs also serves damn good bar food, grilled dolphin and chicken, steaks and some of the meatiest, most tender ribs in town. You can sit at the bar or at a table. No matter where you sit, there’s a TV with a ball in it in your line of sight.

BEST SPORTS BAR, PALM BEACH

Pete Rose’s Ballpark Cafe
8144 W. Glades Road
Boca Raton
561/488-7383

We’re not just picking Pete Rose’s Ballpark Cafe because it has good food, cold beer, a full liquor bar and an even fuller array of televisions that show football, baseball, basketball, hockey, soccer, tennis, golf, auto racing and more football pretty much every waking hour of the year. We’re also picking Pete’s because we want to do our small part to help owner Pete Rose get into the Baseball Hall of Fame. If naming Charlie Hustle’s sports bar as the best in Palm Beach County helps him get there, then daggummit, it’s the least we can do. If this doesn’t push Pete into baseball’s hallowed halls, he may never get there.

BEST BIKER HANGOUT

Happy Days
351 S.W. 12th Ave.
Pompano Beach
954/784-0055

Like the famed television show it’s named for, Happy Days is a throwback to a time when motorcycles and hot rods symbolized youth in revolt. Every Saturday night, about 100 bikers and gearheads of all makes and models gather at this Fonzie redux to party like it was 1955. Pop tunes from the ’50s and ’60s set the backdrop, but the real mood-swingers are those revved up, well-tooled ’90s engines that would blow away anything the Fonz rode in on.

BAR WITH THE BEST BEER SELECTION

London Pub
1388 N. State Road 7
Margate
954/972-9900

Damn near broke our heart. We’d dutifully quaffed our way more than half-way around the world, only to be done in by the spin cycle. You see, each time you sample one of London Pub’s globe-spanning brews, your waitress will check off that locale from the "passport" you’re issued by the establishment. Drink your way from pole to pole and you receive a polo shirt. Do it again, and you’re upgraded to a satin jacket. Upon your third pass-through, your name is engraved on a plaque (one in the pub, one to take home and proudly show your spouse what you’ve spent the mortgage payment on). Last we checked, they had 160 bottled beers and 19 drafts, which bear labels from the Dark Continent to Asia to right here in the U.S.A. Oddly enough, the strongest selections came from Switzerland: the 14 percent alcohol Samichlaus and the 15 percent EKU-28; no wonder those folks are so peaceful. Oh yeah, and don’t repeat our mistake by forgetting to take your passport out of your pocket before doing laundry.

BEST WINE TASTINGS

Crown
Multiple locations

There’s no cheaper or better way to learn why wine is the most civilized form of alcohol consumption than at Crown tastings. Every couple of months or so, Crown gives oenophiles and those new to splendors of vino a chance to sample up to 60 wines in a two-hour period. Tastings are organized according to countries or regions, including California, Italy, Spain, Chile, Australia and any other place that elevates the grape well beyond the standard fruit bowl. Gourmet finger food is also served at Crown events, which cost only $10 while offering savings of up to 20 percent on all those wines they’re showcasing. One word of advice: Don’t sample all 60 wines. It’s uncivilized to drink that much.

BEST MEET MARKET

Las Olas Riverfront
Southwest First Street
Fort Lauderdale

A sleepy hollow on weeknights, Las Olas Riverfront erupts in a volcano of pheromonal want on Friday and Saturday nights as dressed-to-impress twentysomethings try to make hay before the sun rises. Drawing in part from the crowds on Second Street, Riverfront lures girls in black dresses and guys in black pullovers with its ample loitering space and assemblage of bars. Eye contact and opening lines are delivered by either, but it’s the bars, naturally, that get the most action.

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IN FORT LAUDERDALE

Grady’s Bar
905 S. Andrews Ave.
Fort Lauderdale
954/761-9416

Just how loyal are patrons of Grady’s, one of the oldest drinking establishments in Fort Lauderdale? Well, consider that one deceased regular had his ashes scattered out back by a tree, while still another (Cowboy) had his cremated remains placed up on a shelf behind the bar, its container crowned with three Budweiser bottle caps. What engenders such loyalty? Hell if we know. Maybe it’s the dollar drafts or the cheap pitchers or the friendly service or the hours of operation, which has some drinking as early as 7 a.m. or the occasional blues bands who whoop it up on weekends. Or it could just be the fact that some folks have gotten in the habit of coming to Grady’s over its 60-year tenure on Andrews and have come to view the staff and patrons as part of their family. Whatever, any place that’s been around that long must be doing something right.

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IN HOLLYWOOD

Sneakers
112 S. 20th Ave.
Hollywood
954/929-3902

Sneakers is a bar for people who like bars. The exterior sports one of the coolest electric signs in all of South Florida, a vertical pink and blue beacon to lovers of all-things tavern-like. The interior is wooden and warm, but not like a fern bar. Rather, it’s the kind of place you feel comfortable pulling up a barstool or, better yet, leaning, with one foot up on the footrest. There’s memorabilia on the walls, including historical headlines, various knickknacks like old typewriters and a hand-cranked washing machine behind the bar, pool tables and a pinball machine, a jukebox, live music on weekends, comfortable red-vinyl booths and a pretty damn decent kitchen that serves a fine slice of pizza and any kind of fried food you can imagine. And they’re open till 4 a.m. If there’s anything else you could ask from a neighborhood bar, it’s probably illegal.

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IN SOUTHWEST BROWARD

Ye Olde Falcon Pub
2867 S. University Drive
Davie
954/424-0300

A dark ale and fish-and-chips oasis from the run-of-the-mill suburban watering holes, Ye Olde Falcon meets the standard of a neighborhood bar with its casual, bustling atmosphere, its large selection of tap and bottled brews and an ever-improving menu. A fast and familiar team of servers keeps your pint full with more than 30 lagers that whet the palate. The menu includes meaty racks of ribs, jumbo pieces of battered and deep-fried fish and a variety of grilled meat, chicken and fish platters. There are three large-screen televisions, a cigar room for aromatically challenged puffers and a cozy dining room and bar area for eating, drinking and being merry.

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IN WEST BROWARD

Rosey Baby
4587 N. University Drive
Lauderhill
954/749-5627

There was a time when Rosey Baby was the only place in South Florida that served authentic Louisiana cuisine, from po-boys and jambalaya to those monstrous buckets of steamed, peel-’em-your-own-damn-self crawfish. Of course, that time has passed, with both independent and chain restaurants and pubs attempting to procure some of that Louisiana magic in their dishes and atmosphere. The fakers — and they know who they are — are easy to detect, which makes the menu at Rosey Baby’s all the more special. The kitchen is run by one Bobby Hester, whose red beans and rice is outdone only by his equally hot harmonica-playing, which he showcases none too frequently. The bar itself offers a wide variety of beers and ales (including some of New Orleans’ finest brews) as well as a wide variety of local blues acts squeezed into its dining area on weekends. And if you happen to recognize the voice of a certain Rosey Baby waitress/bartender but not the face, it is indeed Dar of WKPX’s Sunday Blues program.

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IN NORTH BROWARD

Crabby Jack’s
1015 S. Federal Highway
Deerfield Beach
954/429-3770

With three bars, the nautically themed Crabby Jack’s wets the whistle of the entire neighborhood with daily drink specials that turn working-class heroes and students from crabby to contented. Nine-to-fivers from nearby businesses stop in for the popular happy hour specials, and those who stay late get $1 domestic beers on Tuesdays, $1.50 well drinks on Wednesdays and $2 imported beers on Thursdays. The menu includes oysters and clams to absorb the alcohol. Jack’s is usually slammed on Friday and Saturday nights, mostly with collegians looking for some relief from the rigors of academia. House musician Walt Rooney strums the guitar on the outdoor patio and there’s a DJ inside playing mostly classic rock.

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IN SOUTH PALM

Blue Anchor Pub
804 E. Atlantic Ave.
Delray Beach
561/272-7272

The beer and the lead-glass windows are all English at Lee Harrison’s 100-plus seat pub located just west of the Intracoastal. The 17 beers on tap include popular British ales like Newcastle Brown Ale, Old Speckled Hen, Murphy Stout, Tetley’s, Double Diamond and Boddington’s. Black Thorn fermented apple cider, at 6 percent alcohol, is comboed with Harp to make the Snake Bite drink, and with Guinness to concoct the Black Velvet. Live British cover bands perform Wednesday through Sunday, rocking the six large lead-glass windows that originate from Harrison’s original Blue Anchor Pub in London. This Blue Anchor is a popular hangout for local Brits, who keep track of their investments on CNN while playing cribbage, backgammon and dominoes at the bar.

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IN WEST PALM BEACH

Flanigan’s — Big Daddy’s
330 Southern Blvd.
West Palm Beach
561/659-3129

Flanigan’s has been a hangout on Southern Boulevard for more than 30 years, building up a dedicated clientele. Three hundred sixty-five days a year you can walk into the dimly lit bar and just be yourself. Relax and let bartender Dona Buckingham make you a golden margarita or a frozen daiquiri. Hungry? Have some hot wings, soup or those world-famous ribs. Watch the events of the world on one of the seven TVs at the bar and cry in your beer when the Dow plunges, just like George, Michael and Bill, a trio of men who are permanent fixtures at the south side of the bar. To them, the biggest appeal is "it’s like Cheers, everyone knows your name." Adds Buckingham, "This bar is like an extended family. When something happens to somebody, we feel it." Now, when’s the last time the bar staff over at TGIFriday’s said that about you?

BEST BAR TO GO TO ALONE

Humperdink’s
4460 N. Federal Highway
Lighthouse Point
954/782-4723

With free roses for the ladies each Friday night, Humperdink’s gets the weekend started the right way, whether you’re attached or out to make a new acquaintance. The one-bar-fits-all setting features a casual, upscale lounge made cozy by large oak chairs and tables. There are 23 televisions that air sports, sports and more sports, and a custom-built miniature train traverses the slope of the bar. Recently renovated by new owners, the 200-seat bar/restaurant is partitioned by a 400-gallon saltwater aquarium that serves as a colorful icebreaker. There’s also a billiard room, a dance floor, live Top 40 music nightly and a menu that serves everything from pasta to prime rib.

BEST BAR OPEN TILL 4 A.M.

The Poor House
110 S.W. Third Ave.
Fort Lauderdale
954/522-5145

Flanked by techno-favoring discos (The Chili Pepper and Play), The Poor House is a virtual oasis in downtown Fort Lauderdale’s Himmarshee Village. With live and mostly original blues, R&B, alternative and punk music nightly, the venue is an anomaly in east Broward County. It’s also a helluva place to people-watch, from the late-night clubgoers spilling out onto the street (and, in some cases, all over each other) to the local musicians holding court on the outdoor patio to their counterparts on-stage. The club’s regulars include such venerated locals as blues guitarist John the Cop, blues-rockers The Hepcat Boo Daddies and punk bands like The Clap and The Hang-Ups. The Poor House also has a wide variety of domestic and imported beer bottled and on-tap, as well as a full liquor bar. Why else would there be so many musicians hanging around the place?

BEST BAR OPEN AT 8 ON SUNDAY MORNING

Oceans 11
800 N. Federal Highway
Hallandale
954/454-5858

Why anyone would be at a bar at 8 a.m. on a Sunday is beyond us, but for those who do like the taste of Budweiser and Jack Daniel’s before breakfast, Oceans 11 is the one and only option outside of your own liquor cabinet. With no windows to let in that blinding morning light, and four-for-one well drink specials from the previous night to hang you over, hardcore drinkers can lose all sense of time at the 11, which is open for 67 straight and not-so-straight hours on the weekends. So, forget sleeping in late or going to sleep at all. There’s a barstool waiting for you at Oceans 11, where a contribution to the collection plate will get you a shot of tequila and the kind of religious experience you won’t find at church.

BEST DRINKS ON THE WATER

Nick’s
1214 N. Broadwalk
Hollywood
954/920-2800

This beachside saloon provides the perfect tropical mixer: a full liquor bar, a large seafood menu and a view of the Atlantic that is unobstructed by the sort of automobile traffic that blights other beaches. Open until 4 a.m., Nick’s has a classic rock jukebox for the day and late, late-night hours, and there’s live music on weekend evenings. Despite its somewhat touristy Broadwalk location, this open-air tavern attracts plenty of locals who drop by as regularly as those fresh breezes that blow in off the ocean.

BEST ENGLISH PUB

Shakespeare’s Pub
1015 N.E. 26th St.
Wilton Manors
954/563-7833

An English pub with a large American clientele, this stand-alone just west of the Five Points intersection serves about 15 mostly British ales in an easygoing setting conducive to small-talk and big-picture chats. One of the few English pubs that doesn’t go after the soccer crowd, Shakespeare’s instead draws a neighborhood following with a hankering for the shepherd’s pie and fish and chips. Wednesday nights are devoted to vintage ska and reggae played by a DJ and are sponsored by Red Stripe beer. The jukebox doesn’t lean toward any particular style, though Frank Sinatra reigns as the most popular artist, even among the English.

BEST JUKEBOX

Bamboo Room
25 S. J St.
Lake Worth
561/585-2583

Let us begin with the caveat that this is the best jukebox if you happen to be a blues fanatic. Owners Karen McKinley and Russell Hibbard certainly fit that description, having carefully picked the CD selections in this gorgeous, vintage-looking machine, where you can peer in the bubble top and watch a mechanical arm lift your choice, slap it down and spin it, just like the jukes of yesteryear. The CDs available include cuts and albums from legendary Delta artists such as Robert Johnson, Skip James and Mississippi John Hurt to legendary Chicago artists such as Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf and Elmore James. Soul-blues from the 1960s-’70s is represented with recordings by the likes of Albert King and B.B. King, and contemporary artists are here, too: Jesse Mae Hemphill, Keb’ Mo’ and Eric Bibb, to name a few. Best of all, the selections are varied enough that you can tailor your picks to fit the music you just heard performed on-stage, whether it was a soulful acoustic set or a full-on Chicago blues band.

BEST BAR FOOD

Shuckums
1814 Harrison St.
Hollywood
954/923-9394; or
500 N. Broadwalk
Hollywood
954/923-6969

As much a raw bar as a drinking bar, Shuckums serves up frosty beers and a slippery selection of freshly caught, chilled oysters that can be ordered in single servings or by the bucket. Clams, mussels, shrimp and lobster are also on the seafood side of the menu, and all-you-can-eat chicken wings specials are offered on Monday and Wednesday nights. A large bar dominates the center of this dressed-down honky-tonk, and there’s live music six nights a week to supplement those aphrodisiacal oysters.

BEST HOTEL BAR

The Golden Lyon
Riverside Hotel
620 E. Las Olas Blvd.
Fort Lauderdale
954/467-0671

Forget the oversized resorts that keep you drinking with innocuous Top 40 crap and 28-ounce margaritas. The Golden Lyon at the Riverside Hotel is a real hotel bar, like they used to have when they built hotels like the Riverside. The 20-seat bar is intimate enough to swap secrets with people you’ll never see again, sophisticated enough to attract travelers with a taste for the exotic, quiet enough so you can carry on a conversation without yelling and lit just bright enough for casual, across the bar eye contact. Happy hour is from 4:30 to 6:30 p.m. daily, with Asian appetizers worth talking about served from the hotel restaurant Indigo.

BEST BAR TO GO AFTER A BREAKUP

Rush Street
220 S.W. Second St.
Fort Lauderdale
954/522-6900

Join hordes of other twenty- and thirtysomethings who have just about had it with the club pickup scene but who can’t quite keep themselves away from places like Rush Street because, well, because you never know when you’re going to meet Ms. or Mr. Right in a loud, dark, high-tech bar after you’ve just broken up with the one you love. You probably have a better chance of meeting someone new at a support group, but that’s no place to start a relationship. Go to Rush Street on a Friday night, put on a fake smile, drink heavily, squint in the darkness, talk as loud as possible so you can be heard, nod as though you understand what is being said even though you can’t hear a word. And when the night is over, maybe at 10:15 if you catch on quick, maybe later if you’re an optimist (or a masochist), go home, stay away from sharp objects and photos of your lost beloved, and go to sleep. Your bedroom is almost as dark as Rush Street, without the fake smile.

BEST COFFEEHOUSE, BROWARD

Archives Book Café
1948 E. Sunrise Blvd.
Fort Lauderdale
954/764-8212

As warm and cozy as an English sitting room, Archives perfectly captures the Zen of drinking coffee while being surrounded by books, in this case, both hardbound and softcover used books. Located in the Gateway Plaza, owners Marty and Tatiana Zidtowecki keep a fresh brew of gourmet coffees ready for readers perusing the shelves for a once-read copy of Milan Kundera or Pablo Neruda. The family-friendly ambiance is made more comfortable by a collection of found chairs and couches placed throughout this European-style café, which allow shoppers to read a passage or two from their selections before making a purchase. The java includes cappuccino, espresso and hot chocolate. For those who really like to luxuriate with a good book, the dessert list features homemade espresso brownies, carrot cake, Key lime pie, pecan pie and cheesecake.

BEST COFFEEHOUSE, PALM BEACH

Underground Coffeeworks
105 S. Narcissus Ave.
West Palm Beach
561/835-4792

For more than seven years, this eclectic West Palm hangout has been the place to gather your thoughts, have some java and hear great local talent. Owners Sheila Powell and Catherine Volpe graciously serve the hippies, yuppies and high-society types five nights a week. Indulge in their more than 30 types of coffee, 15 types of tea, more than two dozen imported, domestic and draft beers, wine, an impressive menu and those amazing homemade pastries that Powell creates herself. Located in one of the few basements in South Florida, the atmosphere is unto itself. "We have something no one else does. Anything goes and you can be yourself," Powell says. Order a "snickerdoodle" or "sinful delight" coffee and play chess, read a book from their library, hear live music or poetry and basically eat, drink and be merry.

BEST MARTINI

My Martini Grille
225 Clematis St.
West Palm Beach
561/832-8333

This place comes by its name honestly with a martini menu that numbers in the hundreds. Vodka is mixed and shaken in pretty much every conceivable way, from the sublime 007 martini made with Smirnoff to the fruity Bellini-Tini, which blends Grey Goose vodka with peach tree schnapps. For those with expensive tastes, there’s The Chairman of the Board, a martini served straight-up with Louis XIII vodka. The price? A chilling $120 for two ounces, $360 for six. Drink it slowly. Very slowly.

BEST MARGARITA

Canyon Southwest Cafe
1818 E. Sunrise Blvd.
Fort Lauderdale
954/765-1950

How good is Canyon’s Prickly Pear Margarita? So good that it comprises up to 25 percent of the total food and bar tab at this superb adobe-colored Southwestern cookery. Served at happy hour with free hors d’oeuvres or with one of Canyon’s extraordinary meals, the prickly one combines a kick-ass punch with the rich, not-too-sweet fruitiness from the pear. The recipe is a secret but the ingredients aren’t: tequila, Triple Sec, fresh-squeezed sour mix and the prickly pear. The pear is picked from cactus, then peeled and soaked in tequila. They’ll set you back $6.25 ($1 off during happy hour), and they’re worth every thorn.

BEST HAPPY HOUR

Mai-Kai
3599 N. Federal Highway
Fort Lauderdale
954/563-3272

The star attractions here, besides the sarong-clad bar maidens, are the 52 tropical drinks that prep the palate for the pleasures of this Polynesian playpen. The big boy of the tropical concoctions is the Barrel of Rum, a 12-ounce drink that blends 4 ounces of Jamaican and Puerto Rican rum in a fruity orange juice base. The first Barrel runs you $11, but the second one is free during the 5 to 7 p.m. happy hour. Afterwards, roll from the Molokai Bar to the restaurant for dinner and a fire-breathing floor show that seems really exotic after a couple of those rum-soaked thirst quenchers.

BEST LADIES’ NIGHT

Hot Chocolates
3101 N. Federal Highway
Fort Lauderdale
954/564-5552

Actually, it’s Ladies’ Nights (plural) at Hot Chocolates, with consecutive nights of no cover charge and $1 drinks on Wednesdays and Thursdays. But Wednesdays are especially seductive for women when the restaurant side of this restaurant-nightclub serves two-for-one dinners for unescorted ladies. And we’re not talking about your ordinary dinner. Girls with an appetite for fine food can treat themselves to Maine lobster bisque, a seafood pasta medley (more lobster), snapper in a tarragon-lemon-cream sauce, roast duck in a Cassis liqueur (the fat’s been cooked out) and even a stuffed veal chop (for the more carnivorous female). There also is a list of fine wines to match the fine food, and dessert is a must, though it may put a drag on any dancing afterwards in the lounge, where there is live music each night. As you might gather from the menu, Hot Chocolates draws a dressed-for-a-night-out crowd, a cut or two above casual. Some men wear jackets and ties. Some women dress to make an impression on men in jackets and ties.

BEST MEN’S NIGHT

Bergeron Rodeo Grounds
6591 Orange Drive
Davie
954/797-1163

Hemorrhoid sufferers need not apply. Electric cowboys need not apply. This is the real deal, where 150-pound men strap on 1,500-pound bulls and take them for a jolting ride, nothing between their rumps and raw hide but a thin layer of denim. Each Wednesday night, a handful of cowboys comes out to the Bergeron Rodeo Grounds in Davie for the jackpot rodeo. The jackpot usually consists of no more than $50, which covers their entrance fee. But these twisted individuals aren’t concerned about the money as much as honing their skills for the state’s many rodeos. Unfortunately, practice rarely makes perfect. More often than not, these cowboys wind up on their backs in the dirt with an angry bull looking to sink his horns into them.

BEST ANTIQUES FAIR

Piccadilly Extravaganzas
South Florida/West Palm Beach Fairgrounds
9067 Southern Blvd.
West Palm Beach
727/345-4431

Whether you collect tramp art, sheet music, comic books, vintage perfume bottles, mercury glass, marcasite necklaces, tapestries from India, Florida folk art, painted sap buckets, patchwork quilts, swords, bottle cap men, Victorian wicker furniture or vintage clocks, among an infinite number of other categories, you must come here. Recent finds: $2 for an iron candelabra, $13 for an angel plaque that looks swiped from a Salem graveyard and $40 for a large tray painted with an idyllic blooming garden and animals. Held for three days on the first weekend of the month, all year long, Piccadilly includes 800 to 1,500 dealers depending on the season (highest number in February). Spread out over a back lot outdoors, a covered outdoor area and three large buildings, it is a high holy place for treasure hunters who pay $10 — double the usual entrance fee — for early buying privileges on Friday. It’s worth it to attend the biggest antique and collectible show in Florida, better than the shows in Mount Dora and more wide-ranging than anything else in the region.

BEST OPEN-MIKE NIGHT

Underground Coffeeworks
105 S. Narcissus Ave.
West Palm Beach
561/835-4792

Every Wednesday night they pack ’em in for this Poetry Slam, where 20-25 poets compete for cash prizes, a bar tab and accolades from the audience. Participants are given a maximum of three minutes to try and impress the judges, picked from members of the crowd, who will display placards awarding a score between one and 10. Total audience participation is a must, as the judges seem to use the reaction of the crowd as a determining factor. If you’re a rapper, traditional wordsmith or master of the haiku, let the club hear your words of wisdom. Poet wannabes line up outside the doorway before the club opens at 8 p.m. for a chance to sign up, bask in the spotlight and maybe walk away triumphant.

BEST CONCERT IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS (tie)

Elvis Costello
Oct. 31, 1999
Sunrise Musical Theatre

Lyle Lovett
March 5
Pompano Beach Amphitheater

Both of these concerts were sparsely attended, both reached upwards of three hours and both were positively unforgettable. These were long-awaited return trips for Lovett and Costello, the latter of whom hadn’t performed in South Florida in nearly 15 years, which makes the low turnout even more puzzling, despite this area’s general apathy toward artists of the non-Top 40 persuasion.

Costello’s appearance marked the final date on his North American tour, which was held to promote — hell, celebrate — nothing other than his 20-plus years’ worth of material, from his earliest work with the Attractions to his recent collaborations with master pop craftsman Burt Bacharach. And Costello damn near played it all, joined only by the sophisticated presence of Attractions pianist Steve Nieve for flawless renditions of such new wave classics as "Alison" and "Little Triggers" as well as recent tearjerkers like "I Still Have That Other Girl" and "What’s Her Name Today?" Throughout, the notoriously prickly Costello was in both fine voice and demeanor, graciously thanking the audience for their attention and devotion. He rewarded them with a night-capping a cappella delivery of "Someday My Prince Will Come" from the lip of the stage. Our goose bumps have yet to recede.

Lovett was equally mesmerizing under a shroud of stars at the Pompano Beach Amphitheater. The Texas troubadour and his Large Band proved themselves to be exceptional practitioners of American roots music. Impeccably dressed and sharply witted, Lovett upheld the legacy of his forebears in the late Townes Van Zandt and Walter Hyatt, providing soulful readings of their songs and allowing their impact to be felt on his own charming, whimsical material ("If I Had a Boat," "Church"). Lovett’s also one of the funniest songwriters ever to grace a stage, his humor at times self-effacing, at others brilliantly sardonic. "Wouldn’t you know it? We haven’t been to Florida in years and when we do return, it’s on the day you ran out of Ritalin," he remarked after a drunken, obnoxious woman foisted her two children onto the stage midsong. Some audiences, it would seem, can’t be sparse enough.

BEST CLUB SHOW, BROWARD

NRBQ
Alligator Alley
Jan. 29

Nasty winter weather had stranded all but two members of The National Rhythm and Blues Quartet, a veteran bar band with origins in Miami. Scheduled to play the venerable Little Haiti club Churchill’s the night before their Alligator Alley gig, only pianist Terry Adams and drummer Tom Ardolino were in town (apparently, that was one wild show, according to Jake Cline, who was in attendance). Would the rest of the group make it in time for the next night’s performance? The answer was a resounding hell yes, as these cult faves tore into a set that careened from rockabilly to blues to punk to just plain ol’ weirdness, some from their 30-year discography and others seemingly just for the fun of it. One minute it was a raveup of Ritchie Valens’ "Come On," the next it was a nutty puzzler like "CM Pups" or the screaming tantrum "I Want My Mommy," both from their new self-titled album. The brothers Spampinato, Johnny and Joey, fronted on guitar and bass, respectively, and traded off vocals with piano madman Adams. As always, Adams was a mix of sheer lunacy and brilliance, torturing his keys with fists, elbows and feet and furiously barrelhousing on the single-entendre blues classic "Right String, Wrong Yo-Yo." There was also a poker-faced PSA-type ditty about looking both ways before crossing the street, and an encore (this capacity crowd wasn’t going anywhere) of "Everybody Needs Somebody," where each band member took center stage for a verse, read from a lyric sheet. All-but-unparalleled wackiness from a group of guys that are as funny as they are musical. And that’s saying something.

BEST CLUB SHOW, PALM BEACH

Bobby "Blue" Bland
The Back Room
Delray Beach
Oct. 2, 1999

Some folks complained. Said ol’ Bobby "Blue" Bland just wasn’t what he used to be. That the sound sucked. Well, that last part is true, anyway. Nonetheless, the R&B/blues legend was splendid, a magnificent entertainer who played the capacity crowd like a Stradivarius. Miami’s own Big City Blues Band kicked off the proceedings with a high-energy set of blues and Memphis soul, getting the refreshingly mixed-race crowd in the mood for the main event. By the time Bland’s band — a couple of horns, keyboards, guitar, bass and drums — took the stage, excitement was fever-pitch (hell, there was even police tape to keep exuberant womenfolk at nongroping distance). Then, Bland made his entrance, striding through the crowd from the tour bus parked out front, and proceeded to take control. Like the pro he is, Bland played all the hits we came out to hear — "Stormy Monday," "That’s the Way Love Is," "Further on Up the Road," "I Wouldn’t Treat a Dog" — but with utmost subtlety, commanding quiet and getting it with a look and a sparkle from one of his chunky gold and diamond rings. But when it was time to shout, the crowd gamely played their part, particularly at the bawdier lyrics or when Bland chose a couple of women to come up on the bandstand and show him where their mama lives. Sure, you could stay at home and listen to your Bobby "Blue" Bland records from 1962, but an experience like this has to be lived.

BEST FREE EVENT

Clematis by Night
West Palm Beach

Get a head start on weekend partying every Thursday night when downtown West Palm Beach is transformed into one big outdoor fiesta. Enjoy live reggae, soul, rock, gospel, jazz or blues by (or in) the fountain and dance with the throngs of people who are already doing the same. Clematis Street is closed off at Olive Avenue so you can roam the streets while local restaurants and cafés offer sidewalk dining, artists show their wares and works, families stroll on by and you’re invited in on the fun, too.

BEST ANNUAL SOUTH FLORIDA EVENT

Cajun/Zydeco Crawfish Festival

The Cajun/Zydeco Fest lost much of its appeal when the city moved it from the festival-friendly Mills Pond Park to the profit-friendly Fort Lauderdale Baseball Stadium, a knuckleball from I-95. Still, with a top-flight lineup of Louisiana music (Balfa Toujours, Steve Riley, BeauSoleil) and standout performances from genial zydeco heir Geno Delafose and its cranky king Boozoo Chavis, the festival rose above its dull surroundings (one stage was even set up on a concrete parking lot — how comfortable). Still, Cajun and zydeco music is all about enjoying one’s self, and the spirit of the event — as well as the scent of boiled crawfish — couldn’t be suppressed throughout the three-day weekend. The festival returns to the Baseball Stadium May 12-14 with favorites Delafose, Chubby Carrier, Filé and many more.

BEST MUSIC FESTIVAL

City Link Music Fest

Yeah, we’re being self-congratulatory here, but name another one-night local music showcase as ambitious and rewarding as this one. For six years now, on the first Friday of December, anywhere between 80 and 100 local bands and solo performers congregate in downtown Fort Lauderdale’s Himmarshee district to remind everyone how special South Florida’s live music scene can be. Last year, 84 acts performed in 11 venues to an audience of thousands. There were tremendous performances all-around: Jim Wurster and the Atomic Cowboys’ barnstorming set of alternative country before a packed house at Yellow Moon; The Clap energizing the Chili Pepper patio stage with dead-on, thoroughly punk covers of The Buzzcocks, Devo and others; red-hot roots guitarist Raiford Starke at Lord Nelson Pub proving why everybody wants him in their band; Rob Coe channeling the spirit of The Replacements for a bracing delivery of solo punk tunes and Dylan covers at Dicey Riley’s; and at Tarpon Bend, South Florida veteran Joey Gilmore, smooth as ever, sending everyone home at 3 a.m. with a shot of his sweet soul-blues.

BEST ETHNIC FESTIVAL

Irish Fest
Fort Lauderdale

If there’s anyone in South Florida who knows how to throw an Irish party, it’s Sheila Hynes, organizer of the Irish Cultural Institute’s annual Irish Fest. She kicked off this event in 1986 when she and her friends, tired of spending St. Patty’s Day listening to some Italian guy playing "Danny Boy" in a bar, threw a party of their own. Fourteen years later, it’s grown into a monstrous event featuring bands ranging from Black 47, The Prodigals and Cherish the Ladies to Hiring Fair and Fire in the Kitchen, not to mention loads of Irish dancing, rides, food and, of course, Guinness. Recently, the party got too big for Bubier Park and this year, it moved to Mills Pond Park, where it attracted 25,000 people. Some even participated in the latest addition to Sheila’s Party — an Irish talent contest that drew a spoon player, Irish dancers, a few guitarists, one too many versions of "Danny Boy" and mothers who threatened judges within an inch of their lives. Hynes says she learned valuable lessons in holding this contest. The first is that not all Irish people have talent, and the second is that after a few pints, many think they do.

BEST ART SHOW CONTROVERSY

Hortt Competition
Museum of Art
Fort Lauderdale

On the infuriation meter of many local artists, the 41st annual Hortt Competition was off the chart. Spread out to a second venue at the nearby Hooks Warehouse, beyond the museum proper, the competition curiously downsized the number of participants while increasing the space available to show art. Amid cries of foul play, it awarded a best-in-show $3,000 cash prize to Westen Charles’ "The Lintball Project," which was a real dryer producing gray balls of hospital lint. For controversy, but not quality, it was the season’s most hotly debated and reviled art event with faux Duane Hanson sculptures, crappily composed photographs and a paralyzing lack of originality for the most part. Some royally ticked artists rejected from the competition saw what aesthetic retreads made the cut and vowed never to bother trying to enter the Hortt again.

BEST CLUB OWNER TO FLEE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

Toni Bishop

You know it’s time to update your résumé when you observe your boss cleaning out your place of business at 3 a.m. The thought must have occurred to Toni Bishop’s Restaurant and Jazz Club maitre’ d Miguel Aston, who on Nov. 1 watched from The Floridian diner across the street as the titular singer-club owner removed an estimated $70,000 worth of equipment, including a sound system, humidors, liquor, wine, $1,000 bottles of champagne, furniture, even a chandelier. Everything was piled into a U-Haul, under Bishop’s direction. Just where it all went, well, that’s still a mystery as detectives scour South Florida, hoping to recover at least a bit of the $80,000 owed to creditors and return some of the material to landlord Henry Olmino, who reopened his restaurant, Mario’s East, on the site. Bishop fled to Texas.

How did the popular area entertainer become a fugitive? Well, the saga, as chronicled by the Sun-Sentinel’s Jose Lambiet, began when Bishop’s husband of three months, Abe Lang, passed away in October. Lang was Bishop’s No. 1 fan and opened the place, which was festooned with her picture, just for Bishop. Although Lang, the owner of Mattress Giant, left Bishop provided for to the tune of about $1.37 million, his will was contested by Lang’s second wife, who asked that a trustee be appointed.

The club, which opened in June 1998, was beautifully appointed, if a bit out of reach of the average jazz fan. Tickets to shows by top jazz artists such as Chick Corea, Shirley Horn and Michael Brecker were in the $40-$50 range. Add drinks and/or dinner, and couples could be staring at a bill upwards of $200. And that’s only if they didn’t partake of $1,600 bottles of wine or $35-glasses of Scotch, or puff $225 cigars. Expenses eventually overwhelmed income and the club was $160,000 in the hole when it closed. And some of those left holding their hands out? Aston and other employees, some of whom hadn’t been paid for weeks.

BEST LOCAL PLAY

Wit